I’ll Love You Like a Robin

It’s great to take advantage of the time given to you. I usually try to fill it with adventure and exploring, but sometimes all you need to do is appreciate everything. Every little thing.

I’m currently living in Costa Rica and today the English class I teach was cancelled. I decided to seize the day and take a great recommendation of going up to Monte de la Cruz. It was by no means a disappointment.

I had a magical experience. I hiked to the viewpoint where you could see forest, city, mountains, and clouds all together in a single, magnificent copulation. I closed my eyes for a moment, listened to the birds, the bugs, and the wind rustling through the who knows how many types of tree leaves. I felt the sun warming my back and chills on my legs from the light spray of rain brought to me by the breeze. It felt like a mini gift from God because He knows how much I love water and sunshine. To have them together in a perfect combination at that time was exactly what I needed. I felt so happy and at peace, one of those feelings you only get when you are truly present in the moment.

I attempted counting the various amounts of birds I was hearing. I quickly realized I was no match against nature and gladly admitted defeat. For a competitive person this is no simple task. I decided to merely take in the sounds of my far superior champion.

On of my favorite sounds is the wind through the trees, but a subtle wind. The type so swift and gentle that you cannot distinguish if it’s wind surrounding you or water waiting to be discovered in the distance. It’s a mystery for you to debate and solve by continuing to explore and listen. Just listen.

It was as though my soul was smiling warmly, then I started to cry. The birds and the awareness reminded me of my Grandpa. Grandpa, I truly believe you can hear me up there. Please know that I love and miss you. I finally understand how you could sit in the backyard for hours. You had such a true gift of never taking the simple for granted, but you went far beyond that Grandpa. You found such a true, blissful beauty in the life you were given.

You loved your family dearly. Sometimes you would say hurtful things like, “You’re getting fat”, or “Why would you do that?!” but there were always remarks with the underlying intention to take care of us.

It’s strange, but you were never someone who needed to say, “I love you.” It just radiated through you and we all knew you loved us, we could feel it.

I remember once being in the backyard with you when a robin flew nearby. Your eyes lit up Grandpa. You cracked a smile and heightened your already good mood. You told me how the robin was building a nest there and that it came back at the same time every day. We watched it pick up dead grass and sticks for it’s nest for a while. I had never been so entertained by a bird before. Yet you felt that way all the time. In your solidarity, basking in the natural beauty of life. The one you were given. It’s funny how you observed all the details. Not because you did it, but because of why. Most people would do it for research or to find symbolism. You did it out of enjoyment, interest, and awe. There was really no reason other than it made you happy.

Today was the first time I did that Grandpa. I get it now. I always thought I was conscious about my surroundings and mindful when I wanted to be, but I always admired just how much you did it and how natural it was. It was never an effort to you, just a state being.

We always laughed at the way you closed your eyes with literally every meal you ate. No one taught you that Grandpa. You decided to take action and soak up every moment you found joy in, to be mindful with all of your thoughts. That’s why you would get angry thinking to yourself sometimes, you could put yourself in your thoughts. You felt so strongly.

Grandpa, thank you for sharing your gifts of mindfulness and love with me and all of us. You never lectured us in order to teach us these things, but you shared this wonderful wisdom with us every day by being you.

You shared with us a different kind of love. Your love. A love pure, true, and unspoken. One that can never be taken for granted Grandpa because you never took anything for granted and your love has always been too strong and obvious for that to happen.

Although I dislike it, I wish I had a glass of scotch to cheers to Mother Nature and God with you right now.

Instead I’ll smile with the hawks I’ve been watching (Did you see them Grandpa?! There were about 5 riding the wind together! I’ve never seen that many before!) and this stray cat that has been annoyingly rolling on my lap while journaling to you.

Here’s to you Grandpa! Drinking up a breath full of fresh, beautiful, mountain air. It’s still sunny, but at this viewpoint I can see a storm rolling in and hear thunder crashing.

I love you Grandpa! As much as a robin tending to it’s nest 🙂